Ah, but the Corporate Media are ACTUALLY controlled by the Gnomes of Zurich, which in turn is run by the International Communist Conspiracy, that is secretly under the control of Girl Scouts of America, who lace their cookies with mind-control chemicals. What the GSA don't know is they are under the control of the Illuminati, who use orbiting mind control lasers to keep everybody in line.
Yeah, right. You tell 'em. It's all conspiracies nested inside conspiracies.